


Trust issues

by Monday_Writes (Lol_bnhalover)



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Collaboration, Depression, He's kinda an asshole, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Like, Mean edd, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redemption, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Storms, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tags May Change, Tord Redemption, a more realistic redemption fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23914132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lol_bnhalover/pseuds/Monday_Writes
Summary: The end is over.The dust has finally settled, and Edd, Matt, and tom have recovered.Unfortunately the same can not be said for Tord. He's been kicked from the army, leaving him homeless and riddled with guilt and depression.The trio let him into their home once more, but things will never go back to the way they used to. It did nothing to help tord's depression.How will Tord get over all this trauma? Well, you'll have to read to find out, won't you?
Relationships: Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 1
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a collab fic with someone on Wattpad. The chapters will switch between who's writing  
> This chapter was written by me, Monday-writes

Tord held his mangled arm tightly to his body, trying to keep himself warm in the cold fall air. He just had to go and get his stupid robot. Now he was kicked out of the army and without a home. He was stuck sitting in an alleyway, all alone.

"How they going to kick me out of my army!/" He mumbled angrily to himself in broken english. It made him feel all sorts of ways. A part of him was beyond pissed off. Him, their own leader, shunned for a failure! Another part of him, the bigger part, told him it wasn't just a simple mistake. He killed someone. He betrayed his best friends. He was scared beyond repair. He could hardly use his arm and was half-blind and deaf on his right side.

They must've been so hurt from that! Tord, someone who they thought they could trust, just came and tried to kill them! When tord felt warmth on his face, he was momentarily confused. He brought a hand to his face and flinched when it touched something wet. Tears…? 

"Oh.. I'm crying..." He whispered, feeling even more tears fall to the cold cement below. "I don't… deserve to…. It my fault I'm here anyway." He choked on a sob, curling in on himself. Hot tears spilled down his face, his right side sting as the salty tears met his open wounds.

He gasped quietly, gently patting his right check with his sleeve. It came back dotted with crimson, and he cursed himself. If he kept up like this, he was going to die. Tord needed to clean and bandage his wounds, he needed food. He… he needed  _ them _ . 

Tord cleaned his face, using the wall behind him to help into a standing position. He groaned softly. 'I have to apologize, maybe we can even be friends again.' He thought, though that was just wishful thinking. There was no way they'd forgive a monster like him.

Tord tugged on his tattered red hood to hide his unsightly face. He felt dizzy as he attempted to walk, an arm shooting out to steady himself on the wall. God, how long has it been since he actually got up? Two days if he recalled correctly. 

After righting himself, he exited the alley. The streets weren't too busy, so he didn't feel uncomfortable walking down the street. He took a deep breath, continuing to walk through the city streets. Tord, as much as he knew he was probably just imagining things, just couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Maybe countless days of not eating and sleeping were catching up to him.

He glanced behind him, noticing a man in a dark blue hoodie, his mousey brown hair stuck up in 4 promanit spikes. His most prominent feature was his eyes, which were jet black. It was no mystery who this man was, and the fact that he was following him was scary. Tord didn't want to speak to him, not right now at least. He was hoping to apologize to Edd or Matt, people who were more likely to give him a chance. 

Taking a deep breath, tord ducked into a convenience store. He had a small amount of money and really needed the food anyways. To his horror, the man entered behind him, not interacting, but his glare could be felt. He grabbed some cheap snacks and paid, stuffing them in his hoodie pocket and power walking out of the store. 'Please don't follow me, please don't follow me.' He thought, pulling out a chocolate bar and basically inhaling it.

"Huh, I really was hungry." He mumbled. A hand suddenly grabbed his right arm and harshly tugged him into the nearest alley. He whimpered out in pain as digits dug into his flesh. "Ow!" He was shoved up against the brick wall. 

"The fuck do you think you're doing commie?" Came the angry growl of the blue clad man. Tord was at a complete loss for words. Sure he expected hostility, but he wasn't quite ready to be physically attacked. 

"What are you talking about?" He asked, choosing to feign ignorance. This didn't go over well with the black eyes male, and his grip around Tord's arm tightened. "Ow! Hey that hurts."

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. You think I don't know the way to my own apartment building? You really think after all of this you can just waltz back into our lives?" He screamed, shaking him violently. 

"I just want see Esd and Matt, apologize." He gasped, feeling warm blood run down his burnt skin. The man narrowed his eyes at the shivering norski.

"You think i believe that? Even if you really do want to apologize, why do you think Edd and Matt would ever want to see your face again?" He said, and tord was shocked by his response. He was right. Tord was hoping that Edd was as forgiving as he remembered, but he didn't count on the fact that everyone probably wanted him dead. 

"i...I don't know."

"I know you, I know you wanted more than to say sorry. So spit it out."

"I no owe you anything Thomas, I wanted to speak to them. The most I say is… I'm sorry." Tord huffed. He wasn't speaking, not right now. 

"You want to speak to them? Fine. You can answer their questions. Don't blame me if edd puts you through a wall." Tom said, dragging tord along.

"Would you let go of my arm!" Tord snapped, to tears at this point. He couldn't take it, not another minute of the horrid pain. Tom stopped and looked at his face from beneath his hood. There wasn't much to see, but maybe he saw how much pain he was putting tord through because he let go. He grabbed his other arm, not as hard, and continued to drag him down the street. 'I guess i can't be surprised. I did almost kill them, they have a right to be mad at me.'

They entered an apartment complex, and Tom dragged him up to the third floor. "You wanted to see them." Tom reminded before shoving the door open. " EDD, MATT, LOOK WHO I FOUND!" He called, and two men popped their heads around the corner. Edd and Matt stared in shock at the scarred man standing in their doorway.

"What is he doing here?" edd asked, a look of pure hate taking over his face. Tord felt small under his hateful gaze. 

"Found this commie being shady round town. He was coming this way on his own." Tom said, jousling tord. 

"So you brought him to our home?" He yelled, completely outraged that someone like tord was standing in  _ his  _ home. 

"I'm sorry." Tord mumbled, wanting nothing more than to run away and hide.

"Sorry won't change the fact that our house is gone, or that you tried to kill us, or that you killed jon!" Edd spat, stalking right up to him. He was in his personal space. He hated it. Tord tried to back up but Tom's grip around him was too tight. 

"Or that you hurt my face!" Matt added, and even he seemed pissed off. He really messed up, didn't he? "Sorry won't cut it!"

"I brought him here so he could answer some questions. He won't answer me, but maybe he'll answer to you." Tom huffed, shoving Tord forward. 'Would they stop that?' he thought as he stumbled a bit, nearly running into edd. The green hooded male backed up, as if the mere thought of touching him was revolting. Wordlessly he pointed to the cherry red couch. Tord walked over, holding his right arm while hoping he didn't bleed all over their couch.

"Alright tord, first off. Take your hood off, I wanna see your face." tord flinched at edds request. He could already hear the voice in the back of his head going off, telling him how ugky he is.

"I don't think you do. It's pretty bad." He said, looking down at his lap in shame. Edd growled.

"Tord, we aren't playing. Take the stupid hood off." A sigh, tord reached up and tugged on the ripped fabric, letting it fall. They all gasped.

"Ah, you're even more unsightly now. Edd, make him put his hood back on." Matt shrieked, covering his eyes dramatically. Tord felt tears rush to the surface at the stupid offhand comment. God, now he was crying in front of them! How much more pitiful could he possibly be? Edd sighed, irritated by just being around Tords.

"Tom, go get the first aid kit."

"Edd you can't be serious," Tom groaned, and tord could just feel their glars. 'Why do they pity me like this.' he thought, feeling even more tears soak into his already dirty red hoodie.

"Tom, go do it." Edd snapped, and Tom angrily shuffled out of the room. Edd pinched the bridge of his nose. "Is there anything else i should know ?" The way he spoke didn't make it sound like a question. More like he knew, and like he'd rather 

Tord not tell him. He nodded mutely, pulling up his right sleeve to expose the bloody burnt skin. 

"Why didn't you clean that? Or cover it?" Matt asked, covering his nose to protect himself from the strong metallic smell of blood.

"Didn't have the money. You wounld't believe price of medical things. Need food and water." He said while rolling down his sleeve, hissing as fabric brushed against his arm. Edd just sighed. Take off your hoodie so we can clean you up, then you're answering our questions and answering truthfully."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're trying this new thing where we write the chapters together
> 
> also, shout out to the person who booked marked this with 'eh'

Tord looked down, nervous. Edd looked at Tord with a sigh before asking, "why...why did you even try to kill us? Were you trying?"

Tord sighed and shook his head. "No, I not try to kill. Why did I attack..? Power….it addicting. I couldn't control it..sorry." he said.

Edd clearly didn't believe it. He didn't say that to his face, of course. "Where were you for the last 8 years?" Edd pressed, crossing his arms.

"I.. have no spot I've stayed. I move." Tord replied, though it was a bit vague on what he was trying to say. It would most likely be that way for some of the answers.

Tom held up the wanted poster he'd found a few weeks ago. "Wanna explain this?"

Tord stared for a moment, shaking his head at memories. "I've never seen..look faked." He asked, giving a confused expression, attempting to make the lie seem legit.

"Bullshit!" Tom snapped, stomping forward and grabbing tord's now bandaged arm. "You really think we're that stupid?"

Tord squeaked and pulled away. "No..! I just in army….you not stupid. Sorry.." he mumbled, nervous. Even a bit scared. He looked down a bit as he said the last part.

"Tom, let him go. We just fixed him up." Edd sighed, shooing him away. Tom grumbled, glaring at tord for just a moment before looking away. "Tord, why did you never tell us you were in the Army." 

"I-... I no want you to worry or be angry…." Tord said, growing quieter with every word. He looked back at Tom, then to Edd, and sighed. "I should not have created in first place…" he added.

"Created? You created an army and didn't even tell us? Who cares if we were worried or upset, we were still you're friends, were we not?" Edd asked, anger in his eyes and he took a step closer to tord.

"Were. Were, were, were? Not still. Who care anymore?" Tord asked. "It not matter at this point."

"Why didn't you get help for your arm and face?" Matt budded in, pointing to his right side.

Tord looked over at Matt and stayed quiet. He didn't want to respond. He might have to, though. He just stared.

"Tord, he asked you a question. You have a whole damn army and you chose to sit in an alley and die? Why?" Tom growled.

"I ran. Left. I've stayed that way for while.." Tord said. "I no like army now." Tord said and put his knees to his chest slowly, looking at Tom, then down again.

"So… you have nowhere to go, huh?" Edd asked, face unreadable. Tom's eyes widened and he shot edd a look usually reserved for cats getting ready to swipe a fresh and crispy fish stick from a child's hands.

Tord shook his head a bit, seemingly kinda sad. He closed his eyes for a moment before looking back up a bit.

Edd sighed deeply like he was going to regret his next words. "I'm letting you stay here with me." Well, he was apparently. This shocked everyone. 

"Edd you can't be serious."

"Look we did this," he gestured to Tord's right side. "If he goes out there, he'll die and it'll be our fault. I'm doing this to keep our hands clean of murder. " he turned back to tord.

Tord flinched slightly as Edd said 'our '. It hurt him more than he had expected. He looked down, staring. "Thank you…" he said, though he mumbled a small "I guess…." At the end, quiet enough no one would hear.

Tom gapped for a few minutes before storming out of the apartment. Edd watched before turning to matt. Same thing, he awkwardly left the flat. Edd sighed. "Stay here, don't touch anything, I'm going to go talk to them about it."

With that edd left tord alone.


	3. Chapter 3

"Edd what the fuck? Are you crazy?" Tom asked as they walked into Tom's apartment, sitting down at the kitchen counter. He could already feel a headache coming on, and it had nothing to do with his now injured evil roommate.

"He's living on the streets and he's badly injured, I don't want him to die. No one deserves to die, tom." Edd sighed sadly, resting his head in his hand. 

"But he does, he nearly killed us! He deserves to suffer. Are you just gonna forgive him because he got hurt?"

"No! I don't forgive him Tom, I'll never forgive him. But again, if he dies it'll be our fault. I am not a murderer, and I am not soulless. I can see he's sorry and wants to reconcile. I'm going to give him a chance to make it up to me, but it will not be easy. "   
  


"How can you stand to see his awful face everyday? How will we ever hang out again with him around!" Matt whined dramatically. 

"I'll come over to your places, alright? This is my choice, so leave me alone about it." Edd sighed, rubbing his temple.

"What if he hurts us again?"

"I won't let him."

"Edd-"

"We can all easily overpower him tom. If i even suspect he might be plotting, he'll be back on the streets." Edd sighed. Tom sighed loudly, upset beyond belief. Edd couldn't blame him, the person they hated the most was just next door. "He's living with me and that's final.

"I'm not drunk enough for this."

"Yeah, I know," Edd chuckled sadly, staring at his best friends. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be edd, you have a heart of gold and we all know it. It's todd's fault for coming back, knowing you wouldn't let him die.'' Matt said, and wow, that was so introspective. Matt was so much more than a narcissistic forgetful ginger. Edd smiled, leaning on matt.

"Thank you."

"Alright edd, go watch Commie before he touches something. Even if he won't hurt us, he's clearly homeless and you know he loves bacon.'' Tom said, snorting in amusement as Edd tripped over himself to get up and rush out the door with a dramatic cry about 'his precious bacon.'

He entered his apartment loudly, watching poor Tord jump nearly 5 feet in the air in fear. He whipped around to face him, trembling. "You didn't go rummaging through my kitchen, right?" tord shook his head, whimpering while grabbing his arm. "Ugh, did you seriously just hurt your arm after I just fixed you up?"

"No, it's just sore, and hurts all the time…" tord said, biting his lip, hands moving to hover over his stomach while he glanced over to the kitchen.

"Tord.."   
  


"I didn't touch your damn stuff edd. I'm hungry, I haven't eaten in two days. I'd like some food so i dont fucking die, though." He sassed, and there was the tord he knew and hated.

"Maybe go back to being scared and quiet and i might feed you." Edd said with a turned up nose, walking over to his fridge and pulling it open, pleased to find his bacon and cola undisturbed. He pulled out bacon, eggs, and butter. He popped some bread in the toaster as he began to cook. Tord watched from the couch in awe, which made his heart hurt a little. How could someone be so excited over something as basic as food? Tord was basically drooling as he tried to get a closer look without leaving the couch. "Come sit at the table, you're gonna drool all over my couch."

Tord flushed a light pink, making his way over to the kitchen counter and sitting on one of the stools. He plated everything, trying to ignore how happy Tord seemed to receive a plate of food. He shivered in excitement as he stuffed his face, so very very happy. "Calm down, it's not going anywhere. I'm not gonna let you starve, yesh."

"I haven't eaten a full meal in weeks, edd. I forgot how good your cooking is."

"You could've had all the cooking you'd want, but you left us." He said bitterly, grabbing his plate and standing up. Tord hung his head. "I'll be in my room, once you finish just dump your plate in the sink and go watch tv or something." Edd left for his bedroom, a whirl of emotions filling his body. Anger, sadness, confusion. Nothing good. He felt bad, and he wanted to be Tord's friend. But he also hated him, he's always hated him at least a little. Edd groaned, sitting down on his bed and chewing on a piece of bacon. This was harder than he thought. He pulled out his phone and opened the small group chat he'd made for his housemates. 

[Dumb idiot fools]

Colaslut: i made a horrible mistake

Shut Up: i could've told you that

Colaslut: feelings are a bitch

Shut up: you best not be catching feelings for the commie, eddie boi

Colaslut: Don't call me that

Memeories: who changed my name

Memeories is now Frick the sun

Frick the sun: this ain't better.

Frick the sun: edd, you could just throw him out

Colaslut: i made a promise

Shut up: <

Colaslut: oh quiet you, what help you were.

___________

Edd put his phone down and stared up at the ceiling. How was he gonna live like this?


	4. Chapter 4

Tord felt a pit in his stomach at Edd's words, the food not so exciting to eat. He was solemn as he finished off his breakfast/lunch and dumped the plate into the sink and sank back into the comfort that was the couch. He switched on the TV and let the talking fill the air and he slipped into his own mind. 

Why did he think things would work out in his favor? He really thought Edd and Matt would just forgive him after he destroyed their house and almost killed their best friend. Hell, he did kill someone. Poor Jon, he didn't deserve that. No one deserved that! Tord shook his head as if to dispel the guilty thoughts.

What about Pau and Pat? He felt bad for leaving them with the weight of the army on their shoulder. Well, they did let them kick him out of the army… Even still Tord couldn't find it in him to be mad at them. Only himself. After all, he only had himself to blame 

—————

Tord found himself in endless darkness, the only light illuminating the small area around him. He walked forwards for a few stops. The darkness was becoming suffocating. "Hello?" He called. He needed something. Anything. Just please for the love of god save him from this darkness.

His voice echoed endlessly In the void that trapped him. Covering his ears, Tord dropped to his knees. "Stop it, stop it please," Tord whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. Hands grabbed at him, pulling him down and down! His eyes flew open to find jet black arms pulling at his arms and legs, they were pulling him down into the floor that was absorbing him like tar. He let out a mute scream, unable to drag himself out.

Laughter rang out at his vain attempts at freedom, and when he looked up he found the silhouettes of edd, matt, and tom, laughing and pointing at him. He sobbed, hoping fruitlessly for them to save him. But they didn't "please, help me," he cried, the darkness up to his hips now. Edd howled with laughter, walking up to tord and slapping him as hard as possible. 

"Disgusting freak! Do you think we'll help you? How laughable!" Edd grinned evilly, his smile the only noticeable feature on his shadowy face.

"Drown and disappear like you deserve, you commie." Tom cackled, pushing him deeper into darkness. It was to his neck, Tord couldn't even breathe. The laughter grew louder and louder and louder till it was deafening. Tord took in a shaky breath before his head was fully submerged.

—————

The sky exploded with light, quickly followed by a crack of thunder. Tord woke up, jerking forwards from the noise. He looked around a bit, realizing what it was.

His eyes widened in fear and he started to shake. Another loud sound came from the sky, though, much louder. He ended up falling off the couch with his eyes filling with tears. Thunder boomed, yet not as loud as the other two. It was enough for him to grab a pillow and for him to start to sob.

He looked around, trying to find out when it would happen again. It wouldn't help due to, well, it would be too late but then.

He wasn't ready…

A roar came from the sky once again, most likely the loudest of them all. It shook the place a little, though, it was expected for a storm. Not a dangerous shake, just as much as a normal thunderstorm could cause.

Tord screamed in fear, scooting back to the side of the couch that he didn't hear the thunder as much.

He was still on the floor, he was just against the couch. He pushed himself against it a little harder. "No.," he muttered in fear.

The door to Edd's apartment swung open, Tom storming in. He crossed his arms as he stood in front of Tord, glaring down at the Norwegian. "You're being fucking loud, and edd has work in the morning." 

Tord squeaked, looking at Tom. "S-sorry…" he mumbled, looking down until there was another boom. He yelped and kinda jumped a bit, tears still streaming down his face. He was scared, and he couldn't hide it even if he wanted to. He took a deep breath and squeezed the pillow a little.

"Sorry isn't going to fix shit, commie." Tom grabbed Tord by the arm and dropped him back on the couch. 

Tord looked down again, frowning. "sor-ry.." he mumbled again, not knowing what else to say. He was trying to be nice, but.. it was scary more than anything. He didn't want to talk at all, yet he was scared not to.

"What's the problem anyway? You were never scared of storms before." Tom said calmly, sitting down on the other side of the couch. A flash of light lit up the room for a brief moment, Tom's face surprisingly calm.

Tord squeaked and shook more at the flash. "Light, then boom. Like explo-" and he was cut off by more thunder and lightning, causing him to yelp in fear. Tom was quiet for a moment, simply staring. He sighed after a while, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"It's because of the robot explosion, isn't it?"

Tord nodded a little, silent still. He was scared of loads of things at the moment, it was a little hard for him to react to anything. He managed, though. Tom stood and turned on the T.V, making sure the volume wasn't too loud.

"Edd's nice enough to take you in, I'm not gonna let you ruin his life anymore. If I stay here with you will you shut up and let him sleep?" 

Tord gave a quick yet shaky nod before adding, "can not promise.."

"I will not hesitate to duck tape your mouth shut." Tom spat, grabbing a blanket from a closet in the hall and throwing it at Tord's face. He then flopped down on the couch.

Tord tried to block it from hitting his face but failed. It was a blanket, it didn't hurt. Much.

It fell off his face and he grabbed it, just covering up since he was a bit cold anyway.

Tord stared at the T.V, yawning slightly. He was tired. Tom dozed off, incredibly tired from dealing with Tord. Tord curled up on the couch, scooting closer to tom. His eyes drooped as the storm outside came to a light drizzle.


End file.
